The Empire Rijks Back.

The Royal Palace of Amsterdam

Dat Amst tho.

Old Amsterdam sandwich (which, as it turns out, is a type of gouda).

Can you believe?!

Not the first time I’ve made that comparison…

The Rijksmuseum.

Wet floor sign straight out of Mario Kart.

St Vitus (of St Andrews’ ball fame).

My favourite part about this self-portait is that Vincent van Gogh painted himself because he didn’t want to have to pay a model. Given my portfolio of stock photography, we had a lot in common.

p.s. If anyone ever corrects you for pronouncing it “van Go”, I guarantee you their version sounds nothing like the actual Dutch.

The Rokin in Amsterdam, George Hendrik Breitner, 1897

The Nieuwe Haarlemse Sluis at the Singel, Matthijs Maris, 1871

We must have passed this bridge at least 40 times during our stay in the city, but the most interesting part of the painting is that the artist reused a canvas already painted on by his brother Jacob. Parts of this underlying composition are still visible, especially in the green brushstrokes on the buildings on the right.

Cersei that walk.

A Windmill on a Polder Waterway, Paul Joseph Constantin Gabriël, c. 1889

I took this thinking it would be the same place we visited a few days later. It wasn’t.

Tenchu: Stealth Assassins.

Girlfriend on the left is not having it.

Grim.

Technically not an exhibit, but the research library was easily one of the most beautiful parts of the building.

Calm down, Annabelle.

Lindsay capturing me in my natural state – hunched over like Gollum with a camera strapped to my face.

You let it out, honey. Write it in the book.

So John actually clocked before I did that this is the very museum they filmed in during season 2 of Sense8, and suddenly I was about 800% more excited to be here.

The Night Watch

‘Rembrandt. His name is synonymous with “masterpiece”; and this, arguably one of his greatest paintings. An iconic work of individuals setting aside their differences for a common good. Yet, in its day, this painting was ridiculed, called “a mess”, “the work of an amateur.” There were stories about the gents who hired Rembrandt refusing to pay because they were unhappy with their likenesses. The painting was so unappreciated that when they moved from one hall to another, they decided it was too big, so they just slashed chunks off the bottom and the side. This amputation is what we have left. And we built an entire museum around it. What changed? The painting is still the painting. But what we see is not what people saw hundreds of years ago. How we see changes.’

“In that group of differing soldiers, there’s only one pair of eyes looking to the flag; looking to the bigger picture. Those eyes are the eyes of Rembrandt himself, hidden there, behind everyone. His eyes are looking to the future. And that’s exactly where I’m looking.”

Side note: if you haven’t already seen Sense8, stop everything you’re doing and go watch it immediately. Truly, the best thing I’ve seen in years.

Oh we are the daughters of Triton.

Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me.

Will the lifeboats be seated according to class? I hope they’re not too crowded.

Turning looks. stuntin’ pretty. My two favourite Aquarians.

Thankfully John and I have consecutive starsigns so these photos are usually pretty simple to line up.

All around me are familiar faces.

The Rijksmuseum really does run the gamut from Rembrandt to giant muppet vagina.

If you thought I would go to a Sense8 filming location and not recreate every scene imaginable, you don’t know me at all.

Lito’s crowning moment.

Most confusing thing in the Netherlands: signs that put the “i” and “j” together so that anyone who knows katakana 100% reads them as a リ.

Um, guys?

Leave room for Jesus.

I am dam.

Tuberculosis seems like an awfully high price to pay for using a toilet.

De Pijp: Amsterdam’s answer to Williamsburg. You know you’re in the hipster district when there’s a goddamn avocado store.

Lunch at GlouGlou. Not pictured: their amazing disco toilet.

Also my first experience of orange wine.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage: Slagerij Zagora.

Heron, casually chilling on the streets.

Sure, why not.

We’ve all had those nights.

Stop for the Engrish, stay for the inadvertent Scottish flag.

I don’t know if Holland has an especially high rate of zimmer frame crime but this grandma was taking no chances.

Surprisingly at home atop a D.

Superboobs. Also, this postcard.

I took this with the intention of finding that spot in the city and then I forgot all about it so please enjoy someone else’s lovely photograph.

Bar Oldenhof: a speakeasy style cocktail bar in the Jordaan district. We did a lot of walking that day.

La Vie en Rose: doing exactly what it says on the tin.

Any guesses as to what Lindsay said to me right before she took this photo to elicit that expression?

Pfft, like I need any help.

Our third vegan restaurant in as many nights: the fantastic Meatless District. I had their signature seitan burger.

If a Snickers bar were a cake, it would be this.

That’s considerate.

Honestly, it wouldn’t be a trip with Lindsay without at least one of these pictures.

Remember the mid-’90s when the internet was fresh and new, and you’d insert the AOL disc that came in the mail for a free week of dial-up access to build an epilepsy-inducing Geocities webpage dedicated to your love of Xena?

Now ask yourself why an otherwise respectable, global hotel chain is using this as decor in 2018.

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