Aging gracefully in the Provand’s Lordship – medieval dwelling and the oldest remaining house in Glasgow. Because what better way to make me feel better about my birthday than surrounding myself with things even older than I am.


Kim was convinced this was the smallest house in Glasgow (and not without due cause when we saw John trying to make it through the ancient doorways), but the three-storey building soon proved otherwise.

Provand’s Lordship and the nearby Glasgow Cathedral (which we also visited together 3 years ago!) are some of the very few surviving buildings from Glasgow’s medieval period.

The house was built in 1471, at a time when the Diocese of Glasgow was divided into 32 prebends (or areas) of the Cathedral Chapter, and later became occupied by the Lord of the Prebend of Barlanark. “Prebend” became corrupted to “Provan”, with the Provand’s Lordship appearing to function as the town house for the occupants of Provan Hall.

A view to the beautiful St Nicholas Gardens.

In 1906, it was occupied by the Morton family and used as a sweet shop (and sweet factory) when the Provand’s Lordship Society formed with the aim of saving the historic building. Since then, extensive fundraising and donations have helped it become one of the rare survivors of the many old buildings that once occupied the area around and beyond the top of Glasgow’s High Street.

Simply impassable.

Giving Japan a run for its money in the decorative manhole department.

Edutainment!

A true friend is someone who’ll wipe the bird shit off your ass, mere minutes after you warned everyone else not to sit in it. Oh, the humanity.

The St Nicholas Garden, situated behind the house, has been recreated in the style of the 15th century, which were typically turned to culinary or medicinal use.

The perimeter of the garden was engraved with a veritable Resident-Evil-puzzle’s-worth of body-part murals. I’m about 90% certain a door would have unlocked somewhere if I stood on them in the correct order.

Just opposite the house is the St Mungo Museum of Religious Life and Art – named after Glasgow’s patron saint.

Its aim is to explore the importance of religion in peoples’ lives across the world and across time.

I confess I was mostly in it for the artwork.

Not to say that I wasn’t taking the subject matter deathly serious.

The current exhibition is titled Heavenly Creatures: Angels in faith, history and popular culture. Needless to say, we fitted right in.

There was a wall nearby which asked visitors to draw their idea of what an angel might look like. Naturally I went with my own experience of a mythical creature come to life.

Substituting birthday cake for apple pie.

Aaaaand discovering that I’d accidentally sent the previous night’s Snapchat to Project Runway All Stars designer, Sam Donovan. Oh well, he’s cute and I have no shame regrets.

Since the Saturday of my actual birthday weekend comprised of a location shoot and no free time whatsoever, my family came the following weekend; where I was thrilled to discover that I was the recipient of not one but two amazing birthday cakes.

Minerva, meanwhile, was just as excited about the boxes they’d arrived in.

I confess that I felt a pang of guilt decapitating R2.

And please also join me in wishing a happy purrthday to Wilfred, who just turned 5!

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