For Halloween this year, John and I paid homage to one of our all-time favourite movies.

For anyone unfamiliar with Death Becomes Her (which, if it’s the case, stop whatever you’re doing right now and go watch it by whatever means necessary), I was taking on the role of Madeline Ashton (Meryl Streep) following a run-in with a flight of stairs…

…and John was portraying Helen Sharp (Goldie Hawn), who should probably stay out of a bathing suit for a while…at least a two-piece.

I have a hole in my stomach!

“I don’t believe it, Helen, darling – 12 years, 12 long years, and look at you; you have a…waist.”

My ass! I can see…my ass!

En garde…bitch!

“But look at you now! You couldn’t raise an eyebrow without major surgery!”
“I’ve raised a lot more than an eyebrow in my day, you skinny, phony, hollow bitch!”
“Yeah, but you’ve lost your one and only talent.”
“Which was one more talent than you had, you former fatso!”

“You’re a fraud, Helen, you’re a walking lie, and I can see right through you!”

You know you’re in too deep with a costume when you’ve enlisted your friend to hand-sew a custom chiffon blouse, though all of ours efforts were rewarded when we won best costume later in the evening! The truly worrying part is that I just quoted every one of those lines without reference to a script (which might seem odd but for the fact that John and I communicate via Death Becomes Her quotations on a near-daily basis).

  1. CMK says:

    How were you able to get the hole?

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