Last month, I fulfilled my lifelong dream of seeing a Highland Cow in real life. As it turns out, they’re a 9-minute train ride away.

Kim and I took the train out to Pollokshaws West, and I had a tiny aneurysm on seeing how close the cows were even from the entrance of the park. A short walk later, and all my bovine dreams came true.

Look at the calf! Look at it!

We named this one Betsy.

Kim took this one, and clearly I have never been more excited about anything in my life.

Not content to gaze at Betsy from afar, I surreptitiously hopped the gate in order to pet her. Funnily enough, this coincided with the exact moment she tried to gore me. (I’d point out that those are Kim’s gloves but they’re actually kind of fetching?)

Oh, Betsy. I could never stay mad at you.

A short minute later, we stumbled upon a whole shed of babies.

It was glorious.


Moo, motherfucker.

Kim likes to say that she took me to Pollok Park as a purely selfless endeavour, but look at the unadulterated joy on her face.

I know your game, Khaos.

They were actually surprisingly approachable.

Glorious ginger bastard.

After I’d had my fill of highland calves, we decided to explore the rest of the park. Along the way, we passed a tree that looked like it was trying to hug someone with its stubby T. Rex arms.

Kim was less than pleased at having to use the unisex toilets.

Pollok House – where, coincidentally, my friend Victoria is getting married in a month!


Farewell, Pollok Country Park. I’m sure I’ll be seeing plenty more of you.

And so my predilection for ginger animals is revealed.

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