Last night, John and I carved our very own pumpkins, and now you can, too, with our easy to follow guide!

1: Get off to a limping start on realising that you don’t have any sharp knives in the house. Borrow them from your neighbour instead.

2: End up wrist-deep in pumpkin viscera. Feel certain that there must be a cleaner way to hollow out a pumpkin but be unable to google the answer due to your hands being covered in the aforementioned pumpkin guts.

3: Put Hocus Pocus on in the background. Watch half the film before you remember what you were supposed to be doing.

4: Eat two bags of the sweets intended for potential trick-or-treaters.

5. Carve fine details using the scalpels from John’s dissection kit. Remember that they were last used on actual dead people as an added Halloween bonus.

6. Accept your fate as a crazy cat lady and immortalise your Persian in pumpkin form.

7. Fail to get a picture of your cat with his lantern doppelgänger on learning that he is morbidly afraid of pumpkins.

8. Eat the rest of the sweets. Fear the onset of diabetes.

9. Somehow end up with a completed pumpkin.

10. Bathe in the admiration of your friends and family.

For more tips and tricks, never ask our advice on any crafts project ever. Happy Halloween!

Update: I managed to trick him into being in a shot with the pumpkin by hiding it behind him.

Optional step: roast the pumpkin seeds for a delicious counterbalance to the 8kg of candy. They basically cancel each other out, right?

  1. eclecticlamb says:

    Amazing photos, awesome carving, amusing post!

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